TL;DR Behind everyone's successes & achievements there are tons of support of others, who stand by her/him - encourage, motivate, assure, challenge - all of that unconditionally, gratuitously, because of pure love. It's easy to get "too used" to that - and under-appreciate something that is given so disinterestedly. Learn to express your gratitude, if you don't, at some point it may be too late ...


Dislaimer: This is a very personal post. Normally, I'm not that inclined to share such thoughts, but after a short struggle with myself, I've found it potentially useful for others. However, I'm not going to advertise it widely on boards, aggregators, professional forums, etc.. with a notable exception of my Twitter account & blog's FB page.

I've lost a very close person recently. My Grandmother has passed away at dawn last Friday.

I'm not 4 yo, I realise that the ones from older generations will likely depart from this world before I do, nevertheless it still hurts & nothing can prepare you for that. Sadness drains off whole energy & draws loose thoughts towards reminiscences from the past - shared moments, memorable situations, both pleasant & painful ones alike.

In my case, iteration through these memories has brought a very uplifting realisation - I put a significant effort in highly aware self-development, but all the key foundations that helped me through my whole "career" (education, academy, job, professional expertise, development as a human being, etc.) have been laid by my upbringing - by the closest ones who shaped me, my way of thinking, behaviours & value system I follow.

I believe in grit, ...
I believe in essentialism, ...
I believe in individuals' high autonomy & bottom-up "pressure", ...
I believe in unconditional pragmatism, ...
I hate excuses & victimship, incompetence & politicking, lack of focus & leaving things half-baked.

Like my Grandmother did.

Early widowed after my Grandfather died in a car accident ~40 years ago, got to handle herself upbringing of two children, personally took over the charge of family's business (production of furniture) in hard times of communism & never married again. Beset by manifold diseases, including diabetes (diagnosed in times when even measuring blood sugar level was a challenge), cancer, coronary disease & heart attacks. Nothing has broken her, she never whined, never gave up - regardless of the obstacles, she was always first to help. Even under the weight of years lived and her medical history, until the very last days she remained independent & had concrete plans for the future.

During her whole life she kept her libertarian approach to life. She never let anyone to decide for her, and even if she sometimes was too stubborn to admit someone else right, she was always wiling to bear the consequences of her decisions. Occasionally overly prudent, did not recognize imposed authorities, but even if she believed that nothing is impossible, she picked her battles carefully. Selfless, always going through our (mine or my sister's) successes & failures even more intensively than we did - first to offer support, cheer or consolation.

She was a living exemplification of the values I worship so much. Grit. Discipline. Focus. Accountability. Getting Shit Done. Observing her implementing these in life was the best lesson I could imagine.

Thank you Grandma.
If not you, I'd never be in a place I am right now.
I will never forget you.